I started this blog because I've been fighting against my cigarette smoking habit for quite a while. On top of that, I stopped exercising, put on weight, came back to being a carnivore and feel depressed like I haven't been in many years. The journey back to inner balance is tough. I am a joke among my friends now every time I say, "I'm quitting this time!" People roll their eyes.
Same with being vegetarian. Believe it or not, I even tried to be raw vegan in the beginning of the year! But now I basically eat meat everyday. It wouldn't be that much of a big deal - or, at least, not as much as smoking a pack a day- if it weren't for the fact that my body doesn't process animal fat/protein well. And I have a history of high cholesterol, as well.
You might be thinking, "If you know all that, why do you keep smoking, eating meat, and not exercising?" Well, I have a prompt answer to that: I don't have the time. I'm an undergrad at Columbia University (just transferred from a community college in CA), and I have approximately 500-600 pages of reading per week plus 2 papers a week.
But that is not the truth. I mean, I really am a student at Columbia, and I DO have all that amount of workload, but that is not the reason why I can't change my habits. That actually is my excuse.
I don't know the answer to your question. I just know that I feel the need to write about this journey, and hopefully, it will help me keep on track.
The compromise here is to log the good and the bad days. The days of success and the days of ...not so much success- I don't like the word 'failure'. I prefer to think of it as a temporary lack of success.
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